As a couple, it can be difficult to get on the same page financially and agree upon sensitive financial topics. We may have different backgrounds, experiences, personalities, and preferences when it comes to money.
Fortunately, there are ways to stay on track, keep focused and have fun. My wife and I have monthly check-ins we call Finance Dates. We’ll describe what they are and why they’re important.
What Is a Finance Date?
My wife and I have a monthly Finance Date on the calendar to check in on our financial progress from the previous month, assess our current status, and review our progress toward our annual goals. There’s an element of the past (what we did last month), the present (where are we now) and future (where are we trying to go). This keeps us laser-focused on our financial goals so that we can make adjustments along the way, as opposed to setting the same goals and resolutions year after year.
One of the advantages of being in a relationship is having a built-in accountability partner. It is an opportunity to leverage each other’s strengths to keep making progress. For example, for Finance Dates, if one partner is more of a planner and detail-oriented, they could take the lead in organizing the finances. I’m a personal finance nerd, so reviewing our spending, updating our budget, tracking our net worth and forecasting ahead is actually fun for me. If the other partner is more free-spirited and spontaneous, they can take the lead in organizing the date. Whatever your strengths are, BOTH partners need to be involved in understanding and agreeing upon your financial goals. It is essential that each person understands all the financial accounts, where they are, how to access them and their purpose. Just because one partner takes the lead in organizing doesn’t absolve the other partner of their responsibilities. Talking about money doesn’t have to be stressful, judgmental and depressing. It can actually be fun!
How Do You Make Finance Dates Fun?
Use your Finance Dates as an opportunity to celebrate! Any time you set long-term goals, it’s really important to celebrate the small wins. The small wins are what keep you motivated along the path to achieving the big goals! Paid off a credit card? Celebrate! Saved $200 by making breakfast and bringing lunch to work? Celebrate! Paid off a student loan? Celebrate! Increased your credit score? Celebrate! As the liquor commercials say, Please Celebrate Responsibly! This is where the strengths of the more spontaneous, free-spirited partner can come in! Ice cream and a mid-afternoon dance party at home? Yes, please! Your favorite evening go-to romantic activity? Oh yeah! Be creative and find ways to enjoy the process of moving toward your goals. Even if there isn’t all that much to celebrate on paper, the very fact that you two are coming together to review your finances and discuss how to improve is, in fact, a WIN!! Consider all the couples that are not doing it!
We know that finances are one of the top reasons for divorce and the biggest source of stress for most individuals and couples. We created a Finance Date checklist to help you in these discussions and recommend a monthly cadence to both improve the relationship and make progress on your financial goals. Use your advantages as a couple to turn that potential source of stress into an opportunity to get closer and celebrate each other!